Running From Pain Prt. 1

Forgiveness isn’t just about others—it’s a powerful gift we give ourselves. By releasing the burden of pain and resentment, we reclaim our inner peace. Forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting or excusing; it’s about freeing ourselves from the grip of past wounds.

Running From Pain Prt. 1

The Process of Forgiveness: Podcast Summary

Introduction

Life, in all its beauty and complexity, is inevitably intertwined with moments of discomfort and pain. In our latest podcast episode, “Running from Pain Part 1,” Louise and I explore a topic that touches every human experience: the tendency to flee from discomfort. It’s a natural impulse, cultivated from a young age, to shy away from pain and seek comfort. However, this avoidance often comes at a cost, hindering our emotional growth and disconnecting us from our true selves. Through our conversation, we dive into the importance of facing discomfort head-on, acknowledging our pain, and exploring the tools that can help us navigate these challenging experiences. We discuss how sitting with our pain, rather than escaping it, can lead to profound personal transformation and healing. This blog aims to unpack the key themes from the episode, offering insights into how we can embrace discomfort as a pathway to deeper self-awareness and emotional resilience. By sharing our personal stories and practical strategies, we hope to inspire a shift in perspective—one that sees discomfort not as an enemy, but as a catalyst for growth and a deeper connection to our inner selves.

Understanding the Concept of “Running from Pain”

In the journey of life, discomfort often feels like an unwelcome guest, one we instinctively try to avoid. From childhood, we’re taught to seek pleasure and avoid pain, a lesson reinforced by societal norms and cultural expectations. This aversion to discomfort manifests in various ways—through distractions, addictions, or even seemingly positive activities like overworking or constant socializing. These behaviors, while providing temporary relief, ultimately prevent us from engaging with the deeper emotional truths that lie beneath the surface.

In our podcast, we explore this tendency, highlighting how the act of running from pain often stems from a fear of facing our vulnerabilities. It’s a protective mechanism, shielding us from the uncomfortable truths about ourselves and our lives. Yet, this avoidance can lead to a sense of disconnection, not only from others but from our own authentic selves. By constantly diverting our attention away from our pain, we miss out on the opportunity to fully understand and process our emotions. Louise and I explore the ways in which this avoidance can stifle personal growth. We share personal anecdotes, illustrating how our own tendencies to escape discomfort have sometimes led to longer-term emotional stagnation. For instance, burying ourselves in work or social obligations can seem productive but often serves as a distraction from the deeper work of self-exploration and healing. We also discuss the societal pressures that encourage this avoidance. In a culture that often values positivity and success over authenticity and vulnerability, admitting to pain can feel like a failure. This societal bias further reinforces the impulse to hide our struggles and present a facade of constant happiness. However, as we explore in the podcast, it’s in embracing our full range of emotions, including pain, that we find the path to true healing and self-discovery.

The Importance of Acknowledging and Sitting with Discomfort

The process of sitting with discomfort is a journey into the depths of our emotional being. It requires a willingness to confront the feelings we usually push away—grief, anger, fear, and sadness. In the podcast, we discuss how acknowledging these emotions is the first step toward healing. By facing our pain, we validate our experiences and give ourselves permission to feel. This practice of sitting with discomfort is not about wallowing in suffering but about allowing ourselves to fully experience and process our emotions. It’s an act of self-compassion, offering ourselves the same understanding and kindness we would offer a friend in distress. This compassionate stance is crucial, as it helps us navigate through the discomfort without judgment or self-criticism.

Mindfulness plays a key role in this process. By staying present with our feelings, we learn to observe them without becoming overwhelmed. This mindful awareness creates a space where we can witness our emotions rather than being swept away by them. It allows us to see our pain from a place of neutrality, recognizing it as a natural part of the human experience. In the episode, we share personal experiences of how sitting with discomfort has led to deeper insights and growth. For instance, during moments of intense emotional pain, instead of reaching for distractions, we chose to sit with our feelings. This practice revealed underlying issues that had been driving our behaviors, allowing us to address the root causes rather than just the symptoms. We also explore the concept of acceptance. Accepting our pain doesn’t mean we like it or want it to continue, but rather that we acknowledge its presence. This acceptance can be incredibly liberating, as it frees us from the futile struggle against reality. It allows us to conserve our energy and focus on understanding and healing, rather than resisting and denying.

Tools and Strategies for Managing Pain

Managing pain requires a toolkit of strategies that help us navigate through difficult emotions with resilience and grace. In our podcast, we discuss several effective tools, including mindfulness, meditation, and the practice of acceptance. These tools not only help us cope with pain but also enable us to transform it into a catalyst for growth. Mindfulness is a foundational practice that involves staying present with our thoughts and feelings. It teaches us to observe our internal experiences without attachment or aversion. This practice can be particularly useful during times of emotional distress, as it helps us stay grounded and aware, rather than being consumed by our emotions. By cultivating mindfulness, we develop the capacity to witness our pain without being overwhelmed by it.

Meditation is another powerful tool we discuss. It provides a space for introspection and self-awareness, helping us to quiet the mind and explore our inner landscape. Through meditation, we can gain insights into the nature of our pain, understanding its origins and the patterns that perpetuate it. This deeper understanding can lead to a sense of peace and clarity, making it easier to navigate through challenging times. Acceptance is a key component of managing pain. It involves acknowledging our pain without trying to change it or push it away. This doesn’t mean resigning ourselves to suffering, but rather accepting our current reality as it is. This acceptance can be a powerful act of self-love, as it allows us to stop fighting against our own experiences. By embracing our pain, we create the space for healing and transformation. We also highlight the importance of self-reflection and journaling. These practices can help us process our emotions and gain clarity about our experiences. By putting our thoughts and feelings into words, we can better understand them and see them from a new perspective. Journaling can also serve as a tool for tracking our progress and recognizing patterns in our emotional responses. In the podcast, we emphasize that managing pain is not about eliminating it but learning to live with it in a healthy way. It’s about developing the resilience to face life’s challenges with grace and courage. By using these tools and strategies, we can transform our pain into a source of strength and wisdom, leading to a more authentic and fulfilling life.

Conclusion

In “Running from Pain Part 1,” we explore the complex relationship we have with discomfort and pain. Through mindfulness, meditation, and acceptance, we can learn to face our pain and transform it into a powerful force for growth. By sitting with our discomfort, we open ourselves to deeper self-awareness and healing. This process is not easy, but it is essential for living a fully authentic life. As we continue on this journey, we encourage you to embrace your discomfort and see it as an opportunity for profound transformation. Through these practices, we can find the strength to navigate life’s challenges and connect more deeply with our true selves.

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Abdi Assadi is unlike any other healer or spiritual teacher ever encountered. He is an expert in martial arts, and a dynamic healer practicing a diverse array of Chinese and Eastern Medicine, indigenous shamanic rituals, and meditation techniques. With a clinical practice in New York City for almost 4 decades, Abdi has accumulated a vast knowledge of real life experience working with several thousands of individuals, guiding them through the most difficult times, and teaching them how to understand themselves. One of the greatest things about him is he merges the human psyche with the spiritual psyche.

Steeped in deep wisdom and insight that is rare to find on this planet in these modern times, Abdi has an extraordinary ability in perceiving and comprehending human souls and their individual psyche. Guided by the divine, Abdi guides you to open up and see beyond your limited Self, into your own soul. His impeccable discernment enables him to unleash personal remarks that pierce through your veil, statements that you will never forget and in an instant alter your perception of yourself and your reality.

– Quotes from Shadows on the Path by Abdi Assadi:


All spiritual masters teach us that love is an activity before it is a condition – and that love is all-encompassing.
Page 18


It felt like I was coming off a race track and driving in a school zone. He knew, years before I did, that my speed was my way of suppressing my early childhood anxiety, and that only slowing down could heal it.

Why do you need to use all these words like God and spirituality? It is right here Abdi, all around you, all the time
Page 40


one does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious.
Page 51


Ultimately it keeps grace out of our lives because we are using our will power to manipulate every event and person around us.
Page 74


His lesson, which I had begun to learn for myself, is that outside circumstances do not define our internal experience if we can surrender into them. Painful or undesirable situations will always arise; true suffering comes from our ego’s desire to resist life as it is.
Page 77


Note from Pernilla:
I met Abdi in the fall of 2014 and when I arrived in his office the first thing he said was, “It’s time that you stop carrying other people’s anxiety.” In the year that followed, my entrenched codependency patterns reared their ugly heads and I was confronted with a part of myself that I had never even known was there.

A few years later, Abdi said, “When are you going to start writing your book?”I looked at him in surprise. I was not a writer. My expertise was centered around creating crazy good Excel spreadsheets. However, I started writing and collecting notes about life issues and life experiences … and here we are a few years later.

Sally Kempton is a preeminent meditation teacher of our time.

She is an expert scholar in Hinduism and all Hindu texts especially in Kashmir Shaivisim. Formerly Swami Durgananda, she left monastic life in the 1980’s to teach publicly. She has written several books and is one of the most known and loved spiritual teachers in our time.

Note from Pernilla:

I met Sally at one of her workshops at City Yoga in LA in 2003. She had the most gentle and loving disposition, and I just wanted to always be around her. I was fortunate to have been part of her two year-long “Transformative journey” courses in 2006 and 2007 and many retreats ever since. She is the true representation of unconditional love and transmits intense shakti from her Guru Swami Muktananda.

Sally is the primary building block and foundation in my spiritual journey. Without her, I would have never found and stuck with meditation – the most transformative experience of my life. Without her, I would have been lost without a clue where to go next. Her wealth of knowledge of yogic philosophy and incredible understanding of the human condition is what makes her a force to be reckoned with.  She understands your depth and makes you feel seen, heard, validated, and deeply loved.