Self esteem & Self confidence

Self-esteem & Self-confidence

Podcast Summary

In a world that often celebrates external accomplishments over inner peace, understanding self-esteem and self-confidence has never been more important. While these terms are frequently used interchangeably, they represent two distinct but interconnected aspects of our self-perception. Self-esteem is the quiet assurance of our intrinsic worth, while self-confidence reflects trust in our abilities to take action and succeed.

In this episode, “Self-Esteem & Self-Confidence,” we share insights from our personal journeys and the tools that have helped us nurture both. We explore the differences between self-esteem and confidence, the practices that build a stronger foundation, and the powerful interplay between emotional and spiritual growth. This blog brings together these reflections, offering a comprehensive guide to cultivating a healthier relationship with yourself.

Understanding the Difference Between Self-Esteem and Self-Confidence

Self-esteem and self-confidence may seem similar, but they represent distinct aspects of our self-perception. Self-esteem is deeply internal, reflecting how we value ourselves at our core. It stems from an intrinsic belief in our worth, regardless of external achievements or validation. On the other hand, self-confidence is more external, rooted in our trust in our abilities and the actions we take. It’s built through practice, competence, and repeated successes.

In this episode, we share our personal journeys of navigating the complexities between these two concepts. I’ve learned that while confidence can sometimes mask low self-esteem, true self-confidence flourishes only when grounded in healthy self-esteem. When our self-worth depends on external validation alone, it becomes fragile and conditional. We discuss how early experiences often shape these traits. For many, a lack of affirmation or critical environments during formative years can lead to diminished self-esteem, even in the face of external accomplishments. Understanding these differences helps us pinpoint areas for growth and healing, enabling us to cultivate both self-esteem and confidence authentically. By addressing the foundational layers of self-worth, we can create a more resilient and empowering relationship with ourselves.

Tools for Building Self-Esteem and Self-Confidence

Cultivating self-esteem and self-confidence isn’t a one-time task; it’s a continuous journey requiring intentional practices. In this episode, we talk about the tools that have helped us and others build a strong foundation for both.

Self-reflection is the cornerstone. Taking time to examine our beliefs and patterns helps us identify where we might be seeking external validation or undermining our own worth. Affirmations are another powerful tool—statements that remind us of our value and capabilities. Repeating phrases like “I am enough” or “I am capable” helps to reprogram negative self-talk. We also share the importance of boundaries in preserving self-esteem. Learning to say no and prioritize personal well-being fosters respect for ourselves and teaches others to value us as well. Meditation and mindfulness practices bring clarity, allowing us to observe our thoughts without judgment and reconnect with our inherent worth. Additionally, embracing vulnerability and reframing failures as learning opportunities build confidence. Each small act of courage—whether speaking up in a meeting or trying something new—strengthens our trust in ourselves. By combining these tools with patience and consistency, we create a path to lasting self-esteem and confidence.

The Interplay Between Emotional and Spiritual Growth

Self-esteem and self-confidence are not just psychological constructs; they are deeply connected to emotional and spiritual growth. Emotional healing is key to nurturing self-worth. In this episode, I explore how acknowledging and processing past wounds frees us from the limiting beliefs that often erode self-esteem. Letting go of perfectionism and self-criticism creates space for self-acceptance and growth.

Spiritual practices, such as mindfulness and presence, help us anchor our self-esteem in something deeper. These practices remind us that our worth is not tied to our achievements but to our inherent humanity. Meditation, for instance, cultivates a sense of inner calm and self-awareness, helping us trust ourselves on a more profound level. We reflect on how moments of spiritual awakening often align with breakthroughs in self-perception. These shifts allow us to see ourselves through a lens of compassion rather than judgment. By integrating emotional and spiritual growth, we align our self-esteem and confidence with our truest selves, fostering resilience and authenticity.

Conclusion

Building self-esteem and self-confidence is a deeply personal journey, one that requires self-awareness, courage, and a commitment to growth. By understanding the differences between the two, we can address the root causes of self-doubt and develop a more empowering narrative about who we are.

Tools like self-reflection, affirmations, and mindfulness anchor us in our worth, while emotional healing and spiritual practices help us transcend limiting beliefs. This integration of emotional and spiritual growth fosters resilience, allowing us to embrace life with authenticity and trust. As we continue on this path, let’s remember that self-esteem and confidence are not destinations but evolving aspects of our being. Every step we take—no matter how small—brings us closer to a deeper connection with ourselves and the world around us. Together, we can cultivate the strength and grace to walk this journey with purpose and pride.

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Abdi Assadi is unlike any other healer or spiritual teacher ever encountered. He is an expert in martial arts, and a dynamic healer practicing a diverse array of Chinese and Eastern Medicine, indigenous shamanic rituals, and meditation techniques. With a clinical practice in New York City for almost 4 decades, Abdi has accumulated a vast knowledge of real life experience working with several thousands of individuals, guiding them through the most difficult times, and teaching them how to understand themselves. One of the greatest things about him is he merges the human psyche with the spiritual psyche.

Steeped in deep wisdom and insight that is rare to find on this planet in these modern times, Abdi has an extraordinary ability in perceiving and comprehending human souls and their individual psyche. Guided by the divine, Abdi guides you to open up and see beyond your limited Self, into your own soul. His impeccable discernment enables him to unleash personal remarks that pierce through your veil, statements that you will never forget and in an instant alter your perception of yourself and your reality.

– Quotes from Shadows on the Path by Abdi Assadi:


All spiritual masters teach us that love is an activity before it is a condition – and that love is all-encompassing.
Page 18


It felt like I was coming off a race track and driving in a school zone. He knew, years before I did, that my speed was my way of suppressing my early childhood anxiety, and that only slowing down could heal it.

Why do you need to use all these words like God and spirituality? It is right here Abdi, all around you, all the time
Page 40


one does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious.
Page 51


Ultimately it keeps grace out of our lives because we are using our will power to manipulate every event and person around us.
Page 74


His lesson, which I had begun to learn for myself, is that outside circumstances do not define our internal experience if we can surrender into them. Painful or undesirable situations will always arise; true suffering comes from our ego’s desire to resist life as it is.
Page 77


Note from Pernilla:
I met Abdi in the fall of 2014 and when I arrived in his office the first thing he said was, “It’s time that you stop carrying other people’s anxiety.” In the year that followed, my entrenched codependency patterns reared their ugly heads and I was confronted with a part of myself that I had never even known was there.

A few years later, Abdi said, “When are you going to start writing your book?”I looked at him in surprise. I was not a writer. My expertise was centered around creating crazy good Excel spreadsheets. However, I started writing and collecting notes about life issues and life experiences … and here we are a few years later.

Sally Kempton is a preeminent meditation teacher of our time.

She is an expert scholar in Hinduism and all Hindu texts especially in Kashmir Shaivisim. Formerly Swami Durgananda, she left monastic life in the 1980’s to teach publicly. She has written several books and is one of the most known and loved spiritual teachers in our time.

Note from Pernilla:

I met Sally at one of her workshops at City Yoga in LA in 2003. She had the most gentle and loving disposition, and I just wanted to always be around her. I was fortunate to have been part of her two year-long “Transformative journey” courses in 2006 and 2007 and many retreats ever since. She is the true representation of unconditional love and transmits intense shakti from her Guru Swami Muktananda.

Sally is the primary building block and foundation in my spiritual journey. Without her, I would have never found and stuck with meditation – the most transformative experience of my life. Without her, I would have been lost without a clue where to go next. Her wealth of knowledge of yogic philosophy and incredible understanding of the human condition is what makes her a force to be reckoned with.  She understands your depth and makes you feel seen, heard, validated, and deeply loved.