Beginning to Pause and Surrender

In this episode, we explore the practice of surrender. Pernilla shares her first experience with surrender, which marked the start of her sobriety.

Beginning to Pause and Surrender

Beginning to Pause and Surrender

Podcast Summary

In the latest episode of “Awakening Process 101,” titled “Beginning to Pause and Surrender,” the hosts explore the transformative practice of surrender. This episode is particularly resonant as it weaves personal narratives of struggle, resilience, and spiritual evolution. Often misunderstood, surrender is redefined not as defeat but as a pathway to profound inner peace and transformation. Through candid conversations, the hosts offer listeners valuable insights and practical tools for integrating surrender into their daily lives. This blog post will explore the main themes discussed in the episode, providing a detailed understanding of the concept of surrender, practical methods for its implementation, and the balance between control and responsibility.

The Concept of Surrender

Surrender, in its truest form, is about letting go of the need to control every aspect of life and placing trust in a higher power or the universe. One host’s journey with surrender began unexpectedly during their path to sobriety. After a night lost to substance use, she woke up to a missed appointment and a crushing sense of shame. In that moment of desperation, a friend provided the number for Alcoholics Anonymous. Making that call was their first real act of surrender, driven by the realization that their life was unmanageable.

The hosts emphasize that surrender is not about giving up. It’s about accepting the present moment and acknowledging forces beyond one’s control. Surrender is a gradual process that unfolds over time, requiring a shift from controlling outcomes to trusting in a greater plan. They also touch on the concept of grace—unexpected moments of support or clarity that aid in surrendering. These moments often come unbidden, providing the strength to let go and trust the process. Through personal anecdotes, the hosts illustrate how surrender can lead to deep inner peace and spiritual growth. They encourage listeners to embrace surrender as a continual practice, understanding that it’s a journey rather than a destination.

Implementing Surrender in Daily Life

Incorporating surrender into daily life can radically change how challenges and stress are handled. The hosts share practical tools and techniques to help listeners integrate this practice. One key tool is the 24-hour rule from Alcoholics Anonymous, which suggests waiting 24 hours before reacting to a triggering event. This waiting period allows emotions to settle, offering a clearer perspective and preventing hasty reactions. One host explains how the 24-hour rule has helped manage reactions and build healthier relationships. In the early days of sobriety, they reacted impulsively to situations, driven by a need for control. Over time, by practicing the 24-hour rule, they learned to pause and reflect before responding, leading to more mindful and intentional interactions.

The hosts also emphasize the importance of creating pauses before reacting to life events. Simple practices like stepping away, engaging in a calming activity, or writing unsent letters can provide space for self-reflection. These practices help in processing emotions mindfully, leading to more thoughtful and deliberate responses. By consistently applying these techniques, surrender becomes more integrated into daily life. What starts as a conscious effort gradually becomes a more automatic response. While mastering surrender takes time, the benefits are significant—reduced stress, improved emotional regulation, and a greater sense of peace.

Control vs. Responsibility

A significant part of the discussion is dedicated to exploring the balance between control and responsibility. The distinction between taking responsible actions and trying to control outcomes is clarified. While it’s important to be proactive and make informed decisions, it’s equally crucial to recognize the limits of control. One host shares personal examples, particularly from experiences during the COVID-19 pandemic, where they had to navigate travel uncertainties to visit an ailing father. The stress of planning and the need to adapt to changing circumstances underscored the importance of being prepared but also being willing to let go of rigid expectations. The conversation addresses how control is often driven by fear and the need for security, whereas responsibility is about taking proactive steps without being attached to specific outcomes. By understanding this distinction, individuals can reduce the anxiety associated with trying to control every aspect of their lives. Instead, they can focus on what they can manage and let go of the rest. This shift in perspective not only enhances personal growth but also fosters a more compassionate and flexible approach to life’s challenges. Listeners are encouraged to embrace responsibility while practicing surrender, recognizing that this balance is key to navigating life’s uncertainties with grace and resilience.

Conclusion

“Beginning to Pause and Surrender” is a powerful episode that offers valuable insights into the practice of surrender. Through personal stories, practical tools, and thoughtful reflections, the hosts guide listeners on a journey toward greater inner peace and spiritual growth. By understanding the concept of surrender, learning to implement it in daily life, and balancing control with responsibility, individuals can transform their approach to life’s challenges. This episode serves as a reminder that surrender is not about giving up, but about trusting the process and embracing the present moment. As illustrated, surrender is a journey that unfolds over time, leading to profound transformation and inner peace.

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Abdi Assadi is unlike any other healer or spiritual teacher ever encountered. He is an expert in martial arts, and a dynamic healer practicing a diverse array of Chinese and Eastern Medicine, indigenous shamanic rituals, and meditation techniques. With a clinical practice in New York City for almost 4 decades, Abdi has accumulated a vast knowledge of real life experience working with several thousands of individuals, guiding them through the most difficult times, and teaching them how to understand themselves. One of the greatest things about him is he merges the human psyche with the spiritual psyche.

Steeped in deep wisdom and insight that is rare to find on this planet in these modern times, Abdi has an extraordinary ability in perceiving and comprehending human souls and their individual psyche. Guided by the divine, Abdi guides you to open up and see beyond your limited Self, into your own soul. His impeccable discernment enables him to unleash personal remarks that pierce through your veil, statements that you will never forget and in an instant alter your perception of yourself and your reality.

– Quotes from Shadows on the Path by Abdi Assadi:


All spiritual masters teach us that love is an activity before it is a condition – and that love is all-encompassing.
Page 18


It felt like I was coming off a race track and driving in a school zone. He knew, years before I did, that my speed was my way of suppressing my early childhood anxiety, and that only slowing down could heal it.

Why do you need to use all these words like God and spirituality? It is right here Abdi, all around you, all the time
Page 40


one does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious.
Page 51


Ultimately it keeps grace out of our lives because we are using our will power to manipulate every event and person around us.
Page 74


His lesson, which I had begun to learn for myself, is that outside circumstances do not define our internal experience if we can surrender into them. Painful or undesirable situations will always arise; true suffering comes from our ego’s desire to resist life as it is.
Page 77


Note from Pernilla:
I met Abdi in the fall of 2014 and when I arrived in his office the first thing he said was, “It’s time that you stop carrying other people’s anxiety.” In the year that followed, my entrenched codependency patterns reared their ugly heads and I was confronted with a part of myself that I had never even known was there.

A few years later, Abdi said, “When are you going to start writing your book?”I looked at him in surprise. I was not a writer. My expertise was centered around creating crazy good Excel spreadsheets. However, I started writing and collecting notes about life issues and life experiences … and here we are a few years later.

Sally Kempton is a preeminent meditation teacher of our time.

She is an expert scholar in Hinduism and all Hindu texts especially in Kashmir Shaivisim. Formerly Swami Durgananda, she left monastic life in the 1980’s to teach publicly. She has written several books and is one of the most known and loved spiritual teachers in our time.

Note from Pernilla:

I met Sally at one of her workshops at City Yoga in LA in 2003. She had the most gentle and loving disposition, and I just wanted to always be around her. I was fortunate to have been part of her two year-long “Transformative journey” courses in 2006 and 2007 and many retreats ever since. She is the true representation of unconditional love and transmits intense shakti from her Guru Swami Muktananda.

Sally is the primary building block and foundation in my spiritual journey. Without her, I would have never found and stuck with meditation – the most transformative experience of my life. Without her, I would have been lost without a clue where to go next. Her wealth of knowledge of yogic philosophy and incredible understanding of the human condition is what makes her a force to be reckoned with.  She understands your depth and makes you feel seen, heard, validated, and deeply loved.