An Appointment with Yourself

Introduction

“An Appointment with Yourself” is the second class in a five part series on the Breath hosted by Pernilla Burke and Abdi Assadi.

There was a time when I did not think about my breath. It was simply something happening in the background, unnoticed and unappreciated. I lived mostly in my mind, absorbed in thoughts, emotions, and distractions. Like many people, I did not realize that the way I was breathing was quietly shaping my experience of the world. It was only when I began paying attention that I understood the subtle power of the breath. It became a bridge between my thoughts and my body, between anxiety and ease, and between unconsciousness and awareness. Once I noticed it, I could not unsee it.

Breath is the foundation of so much. It influences our nervous system, our emotions, and our sense of presence. Yet many of us breathe in ways that keep us locked in stress and disconnection. In this class, Abdi and I explore the simple yet profound ways breath can shift our state of being. We talk about why breath matters, how many of us have lost touch with natural breathing patterns, and how gentle practices can guide us back to calm, clarity, and connection.

This is not about advanced techniques or rigid practices. It’s about something much deeper: an invitation to make an appointment with yourself, to show up, to breathe, and to be present in your own life.

The Importance of Breath for Mindfulness and Emotional Regulation

When was the last time you truly noticed your breath? Not just an inhale or an exhale, but the full experience of breathing; the way your body expands, the way the air moves, the way your nervous system responds? Breath is more than a biological function. It is a tool for presence, a doorway into mindfulness, a rhythm that brings us home to ourselves. When we breathe unconsciously, we are at the mercy of our emotions. But when we become aware of our breath, we become aware of everything. Most of us are locked in a cycle of shallow, unconscious breathing that reinforces stress, anxiety, and disconnection. But mindful breathing allows us to create space. It gives us the pause we need before reacting, the awareness we need to shift our emotions, and the stillness we need to hear ourselves again. When we breathe deeply, we tell our bodies that we are safe. We activate the parasympathetic nervous system, sending signals of calm and ease. This is why breathwork is so powerful: it doesn’t just change how we feel, it changes how we experience life.

Shallow Breathing vs. Belly Breathing

If you watch a newborn baby breathe, you’ll notice something: their belly rises and falls effortlessly. They breathe fully, naturally. But somewhere along the way, we unlearn this. We start breathing high in our chest, holding tension, taking in less air than we need. Shallow breathing keeps us in survival mode. It reinforces stress, keeping us in a loop of reactivity. Belly breathing, on the other hand, is a return to our body’s natural wisdom. It grounds us, calms us, and reconnects us to ourselves. When we breathe deeply into our belly, we send oxygen-rich blood to the brain, improving clarity and focus. We release tension that has been stored in the body. We make space for emotions to flow rather than be suppressed. Relearning how to breathe isn’t about doing something new, it’s about undoing the conditioning that took us away from our breath in the first place.

Practical Breathing Techniques for Daily Life

It is easy to talk about breathwork. Bringing it into daily life is something else entirely. This is where real transformation happens, not in theory, but in practice. The beauty of the breath is that it asks for nothing special. No equipment. No perfect setting. It meets us exactly where we are.

In this episode, we explore simple and effective breathing practices that can be woven into even the busiest days. The 4 7 8 breath helps slow the heart rate and calm the nervous system. Box breathing supports focus and mental clarity. Small pauses for conscious breathing throughout the day create space for stillness. One of my favorite practices is simply taking a full breath before responding, whether to stress, an overwhelming thought, or even a moment of joy. Breath allows us to experience life rather than react to it. We often imagine transformation as something grand or difficult. Yet sometimes the smallest shift, like one deep and intentional breath, has the power to change everything.

Conclusion

Breath is the simplest, most accessible tool for transformation. It costs nothing, requires no training, and is available in every moment. And yet, it is often the thing we neglect the most. This class is a a reminder to pause, to notice, to breathe. Because when we do, we return to something profound: ourselves. This is the appointment we must keep.

The appointment with ourselves.

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Abdi Assadi is unlike any other healer or spiritual teacher ever encountered. He is an expert in martial arts, and a dynamic healer practicing a diverse array of Chinese and Eastern Medicine, indigenous shamanic rituals, and meditation techniques. With a clinical practice in New York City for almost 4 decades, Abdi has accumulated a vast knowledge of real life experience working with several thousands of individuals, guiding them through the most difficult times, and teaching them how to understand themselves. One of the greatest things about him is he merges the human psyche with the spiritual psyche.

Steeped in deep wisdom and insight that is rare to find on this planet in these modern times, Abdi has an extraordinary ability in perceiving and comprehending human souls and their individual psyche. Guided by the divine, Abdi guides you to open up and see beyond your limited Self, into your own soul. His impeccable discernment enables him to unleash personal remarks that pierce through your veil, statements that you will never forget and in an instant alter your perception of yourself and your reality.

– Quotes from Shadows on the Path by Abdi Assadi:


All spiritual masters teach us that love is an activity before it is a condition – and that love is all-encompassing.
Page 18


It felt like I was coming off a race track and driving in a school zone. He knew, years before I did, that my speed was my way of suppressing my early childhood anxiety, and that only slowing down could heal it.

Why do you need to use all these words like God and spirituality? It is right here Abdi, all around you, all the time
Page 40


one does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious.
Page 51


Ultimately it keeps grace out of our lives because we are using our will power to manipulate every event and person around us.
Page 74


His lesson, which I had begun to learn for myself, is that outside circumstances do not define our internal experience if we can surrender into them. Painful or undesirable situations will always arise; true suffering comes from our ego’s desire to resist life as it is.
Page 77


Note from Pernilla:
I met Abdi in the fall of 2014 and when I arrived in his office the first thing he said was, “It’s time that you stop carrying other people’s anxiety.” In the year that followed, my entrenched codependency patterns reared their ugly heads and I was confronted with a part of myself that I had never even known was there.

A few years later, Abdi said, “When are you going to start writing your book?”I looked at him in surprise. I was not a writer. My expertise was centered around creating crazy good Excel spreadsheets. However, I started writing and collecting notes about life issues and life experiences … and here we are a few years later.

Sally Kempton is a preeminent meditation teacher of our time.

She is an expert scholar in Hinduism and all Hindu texts especially in Kashmir Shaivisim. Formerly Swami Durgananda, she left monastic life in the 1980’s to teach publicly. She has written several books and is one of the most known and loved spiritual teachers in our time.

Note from Pernilla:

I met Sally at one of her workshops at City Yoga in LA in 2003. She had the most gentle and loving disposition, and I just wanted to always be around her. I was fortunate to have been part of her two year-long “Transformative journey” courses in 2006 and 2007 and many retreats ever since. She is the true representation of unconditional love and transmits intense shakti from her Guru Swami Muktananda.

Sally is the primary building block and foundation in my spiritual journey. Without her, I would have never found and stuck with meditation – the most transformative experience of my life. Without her, I would have been lost without a clue where to go next. Her wealth of knowledge of yogic philosophy and incredible understanding of the human condition is what makes her a force to be reckoned with.  She understands your depth and makes you feel seen, heard, validated, and deeply loved.